Soccer Mom Prime strokes my chest hair. “Amazing, as always. Tell me, Kent—why do we keep making love in hotels? Why can’t we go to your place?”
I pillow my head in my hands and relax into bed. “I’m not married, if that’s what you’re thinking. Trust me—you don’t want to see my nasty-ass hovel. The stink lines are visible, like an old school cartoon.”
“I don’t believe you,” she says. “But that’s not why I pay you. Now shut your whore mouth and give me some lovin’!”
Who am I to object? HEH heh heh!
TWO DAYS LATER…
Doo-be-doo-be-dooo…just another day in the life of a professional Man Whore/fantasy-epic author/award-winning penis-slinger. Down some protein, make some coffee, and get to writing. Work out, stretch, then it’s back to writing and a bit of TV before I lay down to sleep.
zzzzz….(no, that’s not the right hole—exit only, unless you’re feeling extra freaky, in which case you can go for a lick but only after you’ve bought me dinner…)
ZZZZZZ….
My door bangs open, waking me from my Man Whore slumber. What the foozis? Who the—
Soccer Mom Prime steps into my room. “Time for some wiener! Couldn’t wait until our next appointment!”
“Hold on!” I raise my hand, warding her off with a panicked gesture. “Stick to the schedule! This place is—”
“Too late!” she yells. “I’m already here!” And then she takes a running leap onto my futon, slamming onto my disgusting sheets and dick-stained pillows.
Evil stench poofs up from my blankets, enveloping her in a miasmic cloud of dry-aged fart, sticky-nut stank, and revolting swamp-cock. The skin falls off her bones in strips and tatters.
“DAMN YOU, KENT!” she screams. “DAMN YOU AND YOUR FILTHY WAYS!”
No—NO! I can’t lose Soccer Mom Prime—she’s my horniest client and best tipper!
So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
Soul-healing light floods the room, counteracting my jaw-dropping stench. As Soccer Mom Prime weaves back into being, I carry her out into the living room and lay her down onto my couch.”
“Jesus Christ,” she pants.
“I warned you.”
“I thought you were joking.” She presses a hand against her heart. “Note to self: never, EVER touch Kent Wayne’s blankets.” She gives me a mischievous look. “But now that I’m here…”
“Yes,” I sigh, sliding off my jammies. “You can get some wiener.”
Kent Wayne wins again! Ha HA!
😀
Have you made contact with a skin-melting bundle of fart-infused linens? Never fear! Get The Unbound Realm here: The Unbound Realm, Volume 1 Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited
Ummm…maybe you could warn when your blog post is going to be…not for general consumption? Just sayin’.
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Lmao! 🤣🤣🤣Seriously, funny in a good way, made my day lighter. Take good care of yourself!
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Thank you! I use to do these every day to exercise my short story/humor/general writing muscles, but I think I’ll do em once a week for awhile unless the urge strikes. 😁
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People need to lighten up. That was funny.
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Thanks! Just an occupational hazard of self-expression—people will want you to express yourself in a way that befits their preferences. But that’s okay—that’s how they choose to express themselves: by trying to influence your self-expression.
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Sooooo true….
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[…] Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel […]
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Thank you for the share!
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As the immortal words of Captain Jack Sparrow…” you got to get a woman mate…” I’m a guy and this is work of a 13 year old lol…
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HEH heh heh! 😂
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I was reading again your story, add pictures ?? I think that will stimulate your readers, on another note..,real soccer moms are horny, I’ve had a couple…it’s always moms and kids and dads are playing golf…loneliness will get a mom to have sex
Take care
Dave
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Really i just thought having a pulse and a desire to be physically stimulated gets you horny! Someone with one that works independant to it’s mind is always good! I like the meet joe black type, silent, imulsive and not on the clock, converstaion and a rotation not to hit and run! lol
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Good, because I’m actually pretty reserved in real life. But once you get to know me, I become much more like my writerly self. 😉
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i am on so many levels and have so many guards that i see everything, i wish i was still pottering about but proffessional, international and religious levels mean often people sire up! it may look random but it is a protective spiritual event! first responding as an autist is a nightmare, medium centred, dark angel walker to light my sight is ridiculous; i could do with a sleep mask! lol
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LMAO: you need to use some royalties on an architect and a cleaner… i got a few hours fo an assessment! Futon is really gonna break you back and knee’s not to mention collapse on the first sign of playtime!
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I’m not sure you would remain professional in your assessment. I’m not sure I’d want you to! 🤣
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International movies or music and professional is mine, street rats are theirs and i raised my wards to the highest level! Alright you can pay me in tips, kindness and cuddles! They do not care who i play with baseground service level and was to be king is not gonna survive long enough for me to care, my jurisdictional body in no time! lol
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I’ll definitely pay you with the tip! 🤣
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Tip is put the telly on! I already heard that one and amazingly i can deliver myself from evil and everytime i do it i get a little twin with someone elses wig and my skin? I expect the full rod thankyou i intend to be very naughty s you feel you have to drive it in strongly and deeply as you stare into my sky blue eyes! lol
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Of course! I love to see a lady’s expression while I do just that! It’s why doggy is my least favorite, lol! 😂
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Anyway til tomorrow, i see you only get an hour to your arachnids personality, would you like hand severing some of their heads off! My favourite position is on top! lol As the one true autist i rule everywhere! x
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My favorite position is for the lady to be on top as well. Climb on! 🤣
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I may need a step ladder, some pet jelly and you pulling me in tight! before i take the leap, your gonna break lol. 😈 manifesting as we speak,, so if you get all rocked up you know why!😘
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I’m good at pulling in tight–I squeeze, grip, and spank. 😉
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Save the spanking, i am an angel, just nuzzle into my neck, let me get postitioned so we can work out some of this tension! youre creating by indulging my little fantasies! By the time we are finished no-one will need a road map for my requirements! lol 😈 my desires will be an open book and as world goddess it is really my mens job to satisfy my every need lol
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While I’m doing that, I might utter the magic words. Pretty sure you’d lose it right then and there! 😉
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No time like the present, siesta time! manifesting best start meditating! lol 😋
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Are you “rolling” to my words today? 😏
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Eternally! lol lightening the events, we will have run out of naughty narrative! Your ads and journal will be cleaner! your visitors will need sunglasses 😎
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My mind is a fountain of smut and sex. It’s hard to run out. 😏
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Nothing seems unusual in your narratives uther than the thrashing! lol too much by watch….maybe i can help clear that naughty psyche with some therpy! lol ☣
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Not so much thrashing, more like rhythmic seizing. 😉
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Applied in the right ways you will have me rolling with you! lol thats the spot…😈 tease!
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Yeh right! easier to concentrate when your eyes are across a back, might feel a bit intimate and scupper our O even more! to be honest i am quite shocked at my blunt representation, I should have hidden that in imagery! i will give myself a slap for that one! A ady should really put a gag on her naughty guards! lol💋
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I tend to bring that blunt representation out. And, of course, I’m proud of it. 😏
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Little devil, i tend to coax out even the shyest of participants, i think you might get me pinned before i can get my footing! Bout time someone swept me off my feet! In reality other than professional attendances i do not talk! this might become a shock as HRH i think they thought i was gay! i saw their love of kids and thought carry on i will collect them when you fail! Remapping them was just a bonus, the joy of no investment of any of my levels! oh well should have played with your wife, everyone else still wants to! Staff the joy of them signing in to work! 💋🌹
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I’m pretty good at the sweeping and pinning. You’ll enjoy it! 🤣
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No ju jitsu! i am solid on my feet! would not want to bruise your ego, unless your planning on catcing me! lol or falling!😏
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you will know if i don’t i am solid, can shift around 10 levels of man, and he is massive so you best be good about it or you might find yourself being flipped over yourself! lol i am sure i will kiss it better if you accidently get bruised! Your ego may be a little more difficult to cure! lol make sure your pin weights in the one place, efficiency is key…let the experiments begin! lol
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