What the bung-tickle is happening, all my up-until-now-very-content fuckers who’re happily smashing but now there’s a fingertip brushing your b-hole which causes you to freeze like a jacklit deer, eyes wide with uncertainty for what the future might hold as your mind revs up to 1000 mph trying to figure out whether you should chance it because who knows if it’s going to be a gentle little push or an invasive death-tentacle that would do Cthulu proud no good options man POP QUIZ HOTSHOT WHAT DO YOU DO—
Calm the hell down! Kids nowadays are sticking their faces in each other’s rumps, eating their dirt stars like there’s no tomorrow! Quit being a prude, reach back, and jam that finger three knuckles deep! Christ!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast! If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀