What the hog-bulge is happening, all my fellow well-endowed peeps who like to activate the salivary glands of fervent admirers by wearing super tight jeans or letting the glans poke out the bottom of the shorts or the top of the waistband as if your wiener was an overfriendly neighbor saying “Hi!  Hello!  How’s everything goi—”

What the HELL!  Remember your manners, you barbaric fuck!  Wieners as beautiful as ours should never be used in such a manner!  With great phallus comes great responsibility!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀