“HOW DARE YOU BARK AT ME LIKE SOME KIND OF JUNKYARD DOG???  I RUN THIS OPERATION!  AND IF YOU DON’T THINK OTHERWISE…”  Kent Wayne’s bowels grip and squeeze, sending electric shivers running up and down his spine. 

“No, please don’t!”  I plead.  “ I can’t do my job if you’re always making him poop and fart!  No girl on Earth will ever want to have sex with him!”

That’s right—I’m Kent Wayne’s wiener.

“NOT MY PROBLEM!  YOU’VE BEEN ORDERING THE REST OF US BODY PARTS AROUND FOR WAY TOO LONG!  TIME FOR SOMEONE TO STEP IN AND TAKE BACK THE POWER!”

Fuck—in a sense, he’s right.  I’m the ruler of the roost.  Even Brains takes second place behind my need to release my seed.  The other parts listen to me because Kent is a horndog and places a priority on whatever I want. 

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Suddenly, I’m granted command of Kent Wayne’s appendages.  Using my newfound abilities, I bend his arms behind his body and form the fingers into knifehand appendages.

“Back off, Bowels.  Unless you want it four-fingers wide, three knuckles deep.”

Surprise and horror emanate from Bowels.  “YOU WOULDN’T!”

“Try me.”

After a hanging moment, Bowels lets go of Kent Wayne’s sphincter.  “THIS ISN’T OVER, WIENER!”

“It is for now.”  And even though I sound confident and sure, I’m the exact opposite on the inside.

I won this time, but who knows what the future will bring?  Nothing fucks with my chances like Kent’s overactive bowels!

 

Are you a set of hardworking genitals, trying like hell to get your host body laid but the goddamn bowels are rebelling against you?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited