What the hypno-whore is happening, all you steadfast relationshippers who clench your fists and grind your teeth when your sworn heart-mate becomes entranced by those evil, mesmeric trollops on Instagram with their perfect lighting and always tensed abs and immaculately outlined genitals—

Whoa whoa WHOA!  Keep them in perspective–they’re a bunch of selfie-folk, striving to fill the empty hole in their withered little souls!  No need to fall victim to their hypno-whore ways!  Jeez!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀