What the jerk-fatigue is going on, all you bored-as-hell meatbeaters who are pummeling your milkman for the fifth time in a single day, and you’re almost about to blow but you’ve lost a ton of sensitivity so now you’re sweating bullets because you refuse to give up but the only thing you can think of to send you over the edge is your finger in your unwashed butthole no good choices man game over man GAME OVER—
Cradle the balls, you unoriginal fuck! Jesus man, take a breath and think it through—there’s a bunch of steps you can take before you ravage your own rosebud!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast! If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀