What the ass-hair is happening, my fellow old fogeys who never before had to worry about grooming your anoos but now all kinds of strange folk want to stick their tongue and fingers in and holy shit you’ve got a date but you forgot to shave GAME OVER MAN WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO—

Whoa, take it easy there guy!  Two words:  asshole tattoos!  Incorporate your hairy butt into a picture of Mirkwood Forest, Biker Satan, or various other bearded figures to turn your nasty asshole into a charming piece of art!  Problem solved!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀