What the sex-armor is happening, all you lazy fucks who let your oozy goo settle on your body, waiting for it to crust up into a hardened carapace that’s capable of deflecting small arms fire, explosives, and level 3 directed-energy weapo—

NASTY!  Use some hibiclens, or at the very least some baby wipes, you unhygienic copulator!  No one wants to see you rampaging through the city covered in hardened bdussy like some pornographic monster from the deep!  Gross!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀