After the Gray Alien strike and subsequent zombies, the world transformed into a lawless stretch of desolate turf, contested by all manner of unsavory individuals. I retreated deep into the forest, carving out a life as a quiet hermit.
I miss a few things—jiu jitsu, sex with Soccer Moms—but by and large, it’s a decent existence. Just like before, I write and exercise every day, but now I get to poop wherever I want and jerk it outdoors willy nilly. That wasn’t possible pre-Disaster, not even for rich folk like Elon or Bezos.
Do-be-do-be-doo…think I’ll go for a walk and nut on some bushes. Maybe they’ll give birth to a powerful species of half-Kent, half-plant. (I know that isn’t how it works, but hey, we’ve been invaded by aliens and zombies—who’s to say what comes next?)
But just as I unwind my massive wiener from around my ankle, a pack of wild Karens surrounds me, shrieking and screeching.
“OOK OOK AWK! MANAGER! MEGACHURCH!”
Holy shit, they’re fucking EVERYWHERE! In the trees, behind the rocks…
Game over, man—GAME OVER!
Fuck it. No options left. So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
My wiener goes full-on evil, unleashing its vast reservoir of apocalypse semen. KA-KA-KA-KA! Forget your garden variety low-quality sperm, tainted by asparagus and 7-11 coffee—this would melt the face off a fully powered Kryptonian warrior. These goddamn Karens? They don’t stand a chance.
Some burst into flames, others drop to their knees and clutch the air, wailing at the top of their lungs as their skin sloughs off their bones and underlying fascia.
That’s what you get when you fuck with a retired Man Whore (of the magical variety)! Ha HA!
Kent Wayne wins again!
Has your post-apocalypse peace been disturbed by Karens? Never fear! Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited