What the spread-hole is going on, all you adventurous butt-lickers who are questioning your life choices as you stare into the back-end of your bent-over lover who’s grabbing their cheeks and waiting for you to jam your face in but now you’re having serious reservations as your brain resonates with the phrase I need an adult I NEED AN ADULT—
Goddamn, dude—get in there and toss that salad! Everyone’s seen it, everyone’s done it! This ain’t no 80s prom where you’re saving your butt-licking proclivities for the Right One during an erotically charged saxophone-filled makeout sesh after a romantic night of stuffed crust pizza and a couple hours of OG Voltron! Jeez!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast! If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀