Huh? What’s that bubbling sensation within my pendulous testes? God, it feels like someone’s shaking a soda inside my ballsack…
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Oh no—I snoozed my jerkoff alarm! If I don’t relieve the intratesticular pressure, the world will end in fire and shadow!
I run over to my computer and tap the keyboard, opening a browser pane to MyFriendsHotMom dot com. As the video start playing, I start frantically jerking it.
My wiener-beating is interrupted by an incoming call—the President of the United States takes center screen, then shrinks into a small, corner-screen window.
“Christ almighty, Kent! Our sensors picked up a massive disturbance! Just what in the sam hill is going on over there?”
“Sorry, Mr. President!” A bead of sweat trickles down my temple as I shake hands with the milkman as fast as I can. “I slept through my jerkoff alarm!”
“Dammit, Kent—you know full well that if you don’t relieve yourself on a regular basis, your goddamn super sperm will impregnate every living hole in a thousand-mile radius! Now I gotta atomize the entire western seaboard!”
“Wait!” I scream. “Wait just a—”
Too late. His image blips out.
Shit. He’s made his decision. What do I do—get one last jerk in before the world ends in nuclear fire, or…
Fuck it. I open my eReader to Kor’Thank, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
Time rewinds. BrzzweeOZZZT! I wake up half an hour earlier, well before it’s time to empty my balls.
Before I can rush over to my computer, a sultry voice stops me in my tracks: “Hello, Kent.”
What do you know—Soccer Mom Prime is here to help!
Kent Wayne wins again! Ha HA!
Are you about to end civilization as we know it because you forgot to unload your angry gametes? Never fear! Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
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One thought on “Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel”
I wish i had that intervention in the morning! less femme fatale more brawn! My presidental conversation would be more along the lines of just be careful who you play with as the worlds children keep changing by gradient on every level, it is causing chaos around the world! lol do not worry if they activate i will be siring up and slitting their throats, god damn parents! Thats why the world needs guardians!
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