What the sex-awkwardness is happening, all you even-keeled mofos who’ve smashed nethers with a total rando and let things get completely out of control, to the point where you were invoking the dark lord Astaroth while trying to swallow each others’ fists and now you’re making your lover smile as you dance-dance-dance your way out the door so you don’t have to say anything about the previous night’s deviance you’re outside the room RUN GO GO—
What the hell, man! If you don’t want to talk, just tell ’em you cried during Twilight! No need to engage in all that deception and shadow-play!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast! If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀