What the stank-sheets are happening, all my fellow fuck-machines who’ve nodded fervently at your lover’s vehement declarations that you need to wash them shits in a hermetically sealed autoclave with lab-grade bleach but you’re secretly laughing and giggling with a perverse sense of pride at how many gametes you’ve splattered across the microbial wastelands that serve as your bedr—
GROSS! Your sleeping quarters are not—I repeat NOT—a smelly shrine for nefarious ejaculates! Stop glorying in week-old bdussy and wash your sheets, motherfucker!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast! If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀