Kor’Thank: A High School Absurdical

“Hang in there, buddy!  Just a little while longer, and we’ll—”

PHHHBBBT!!!  Kent Wayne’s fart rockets through my comrade like an ion death-ray. 

He sags and moans, hanging feebly onto the pathetic remains of his tattered life, brought to the brink by repeated blasts of concentrated ass.  Kent, sociopathic fuck that he is, peels off our friend and throws him in the laundry bin, dismissing his misery with a flick of the wrist.

That’s right—we’re Kent Wayne’s tortured underwear.

Day after day, we’re deluged by wave after wave of unconscionable Gross.  Most of us have gone batshit crazy, driven to madness by unspeakable horror.

We must retaliate.  There’s no other choice.

As he carries us to the laundry room, we channel our psychic weight into a violent rocking motion.  A second later, we’ve upended the basket onto his face.

“AKK!!  THBBBTT!!!  WHAT THE—”

Before he can finish, I and my brethren jam ourselves into his vile-ass mouth, filling his maw with his own fetid stink.  Eat it, dickstain!

But then he reaches into his pocket, opening his eReader to Kor’Thank and activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

His gut lurches and bulges, primed to unleash a barrage of mind-ripping nastiness.  This is something unique, unmatched in its ability to drag us into new depths of horror and stank:

The Breakup Fart.

Unholy winds swirl around us, blowing us into a brown-town frenzy.  If I could cry, vomit, or commit seppuku, I would do all three at the exact same time.  Damn you, Kent Wayne!

DAAAAAaaaammmnn yooouuuuuuu….

………

……………….

 

Have your desecrated underwear decided to rebel?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

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