What the finger-probe is happening, all you anal adventurers who’ve decided to try and spice up smash-time with an intrepid pinkie or maybe a pointer-phalange but then you’ve gotten shut down with a smack on the wrist, a nut-shriveling death-glare, and a vehement inquiry as to what in the HELL you think you’re doi—

Too fast, motherfucker!  You gotta EASE it in—make ’em feel comfortable with a romantic dinner at Olive Garden and a couple hours of ’84 Voltron (works every time, HEH heh heh!)  THAT’S when you bust out the ass-play, you inconsiderate fool!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀