What the sex-sacrilege is happening, all you people who’ve gotten a little too routine with your smash-time and are now fighting the temptation to hum the Star Wars Attack Theme at the moment of penetration or pretend you’re on a roller coaster while hitting it from behind by screaming maniacally and throwing your hands in the air like you just don’t ca—

No, no, no, NO!  Respect your partner’s orgasm, goddammit!  There are WAY more appropriate times to channel your inner nine-year-old!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀