What the hook-dick is happening, my fellow upcurved wiener-wielders who have been complimented for your skills in bed and pissed off your lover by shrugging and stating, “I just pound away,” not realizing that the credit goes to the angle of your penis rather than your nonexistent foreplay ski—

Hey asshole—with great penis comes great responsibility!  Just because you can slay the vajeen like a level 30 Jedi vs a bunch hapless Kobolds doesn’t mean you can skip the foreplay!  Come on, man!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀