I wake up to a horrifying sight: Thanos looming over me, hands crossed behind his back.
“Kent Wayne, you are the one remaining threat to my power,” he rumbles. “Once I destroy your monstrous penis, I can go back to being a simple farmer.” He rips off my sleeping bag, where I’m spooning peacefully with my body-pillow-sized hog.
“Yerrrk?” Its dick-slit blinks dazedly as it wakes from its slumber.
“HYAH!” He darts forward and grabs it under the glans with his gauntleted fist. “DIE, YOU ABOMINATION!”
“NO!” I scream in horror as he squeezes mercilessly, turning my dickhead an angry purple. “DON’T!”
“You fail to understand, Kent.” Thanos grimaces. “Your wiener could lift Thor’s hammer while outdrinking Hulk. If I don’t kill it now, then—”
Fuck this genocidal tyrant. I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
A dozen uber-hot soccer moms bust through my ceiling, landing in those anime-style crouches they love to put in pretty much every superhero movie. They form a circle around my wiener and place their hands up and down its turgid length. It immediately begins to bulge and stiffen.
“What are you doing?” Thanos looks from one to the other, puzzled. “What is this?”
“You obviously don’t know me.” I grin at the tyrant. “Because if you did, you would know about my lust for all things Soccer Mom.” I lock eyes with my penis. “Ready?”
It responds with a guttural, “YERR!”
Gallons of jizz come pulsing and blasting out from the tip, engulfing Thanos in an unstoppable of deluge of smelly Gross.
“AGGHK! THBBBT!” He backpedals wildly, trying in vain to withstand my attack.
Not gonna happen—my barrage of ball-barf pins him up against the wall.
“Only one way to finish him,” one of the Soccer Moms declares. Her finger inches down my taint, stopping right above my butthole. “Male g-spot—all guys have ’em.”
My eyes widen in panic. “No they fucking don’t! Exit only! EXIT ONL—HGGGHHHH!!!”
In goes the finger.
The cum-deluge intensifies by a factor of ten. Thanos goes flying back, breaking through the wall and soaring over the parking lot. Meanwhile, my eyes roll back in my head and my right leg jiggles with dog-scratch ferocity.
Oh well—a finger in the butt is a small price to pay to defeat a Dark Lord Worldbreaker.
Kent Wayne wins again! Ha HA!
Have you been targeted by a penis-persecuting fucklord? Never fear!Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
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