Ugh. Injured my knees and both my shoulders. Can’t work out.
The anger builds and builds, despite my continuous masturbation. Seven, eight, nine times a day—it’s gotten to the point where my wiener is only able to muster 50% hardness. Like playing pool with a length of goddamn rope.
RAAAHHHH!!! RUK KRYOK IKH-THANTER KHYROKTI!
Sorry. If I get too angry, I lapse into demon-speak.
Well, seeing as how I can’t release my caveman frustrations under a big pile of weights, might as well jerk it one more time. Doesn’t matter if my womb-hammer is as floppy as a ramen noodle, I need the release.
Concentrate, Kent…(milfs-ice cream-pillow fights-medium-rare steak) CONCENTRATE…
Moments later, my joy turns to horror. Sperm jets from my dickhead and immediately morphs into a hunched figure with craggy red skin and a mouthful of gleaming yellow fangs. My unchecked anger infected my cock snot—somehow manifested into an evil little demonoid! SHIT!
The monster in my living room flails and gibbers arms like an R-rated Taz. In a matter of seconds, it bites my sofa in half, scores my walls with dozens of fist-marks, and rips up the hardwood as if it were tissue paper.
“RAKH AKA YICHT CHAKY-NUH!” Jesus Christ—its demon-speak sounds just like mine!
Fuck it. No options left. So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
Nicolas Cage busts through my wall like the goddamn Kool-Aid man, bugging his eyes out and waving his hands up by his face.
“YIGGA NAKH GORTAKI EL-THOOK!”
Demon-sperm pauses in its tracks, staring quizzically at the batshit crazy silver screen icon.
“Ekh thanitok ket kythok arkady?”
Nic Cage nods. “Hekh thakhinakh rhypekhtare Yai-koriote.”
The demonoid’s face quivers and trembles. Nic Cage’s eyes well up.
Then he sinks to a knee and the demonoid rushes into his outstretched arms. As they break into sobs, I tiptoe quietly out the door.
We always suspected he was a little strange…thank God he’s crazy enough to communicate with miniature archfiends!
Has your building anger exploded into a hellspawn demonoid born from your unwitting masturbation? Never fear! Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
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