Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

The world is wildly different than it was a year ago.  Viruses.  Unrest.  Karens.

People were once resigned to a slow, societal decline, but now they seek—and participate in—a fast-moving spiral into anarchic chaos. 

What do we do?  What CAN we do?

I stare morosely at my laptop, watching as conflict and turmoil pour from my newsfeed.  Fuck it.  Time to go to my tried-and-true respite from bullshit:  MyFriendsHotMom dot Com.

But as I click over to the site, the unspeakable happens:  a deluge of essays—all coated in red-ink corrections—explode across the screen, like a hellish version of a stage-magic card flutter.  My wiener arches in my pants, uttering a cry of pure, unrequited pain, then shrivels into a thumbtack-sized shadow of its former self.

“Grammar Nazi Prime!” I gasp.  “You’ve hacked my MILF porn!”

A nasal chuckle blares from my speakers.  “It was only a matter of time, you big-penised buffoon!  Not so big now, is it?”

I squinch my eyes, fighting the urge to shit, vomit, and commit seppuku all at once.  “You’ve infected my computer with Grammarian memetics—flooded my mind with the antithesis to novelty!”

“Painful, no?”  The essays fade, only to be replaced by something infinitely more hideous:  his jawline-devoid face.  He inspects his nails like a cut-rate Bond villain.  “I estimate you have five minutes before your brain melts down and oozes out your ears.”

I grit my teeth.  “Not..gonna…HAPPEN.”   I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

I teleport into his hideout, descending upon him as I rip off my pants.  “You forgot about my BALLS, bitch!” 

I throw my scrotum over his face before he can react.  My dangly nuts act like heavy bolo-weights; they keep my sack plastered to his mug.

“Mmfff!!!  MMMFFFF!!!” 

I think he’s trying to say “mercy,” but it ain’t gonna happen—not with my smeg-coated giggleberries all up in his grill.  Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill him. 

But I AM going to savor this.

Because this is what you get for depriving me of MyFriendsHotMom dot Com!  Ha HA!

😀

 

Has your mortal enemy hacked into your favorite porn site?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

7 thoughts on “Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

  1. I notice you stop by my blog sometimes, so I came to check out yours. 😉 Is the top part an excerpt from your book? The bit about shrinking to a thumbtack made me chuckle. OMG. And the bad guy commenting on the other dude’s size was unexpected. I guess the bad dude’s jealous? Funny stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m currently sat at my work desk reading this. My boss thinks I’m updating a spreadsheet. Little does he know that I’ve just read the sentence, “smeg-coated giggleberries all up in his grill.” It’s the little victories.

    Liked by 1 person

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