For me, emotional intelligence is about intuiting the fastest possible route toward a positive mindset (which translates to a positive perspective, which psychologically primes me to look for opportunities and advantages).
Sometimes, this means deliberately choosing a positive thought. But if I try to jump the gun and become too positive too fast (if it feels forced and phony) then it ends up working against me, locking me into a more negative state of mind. So sometimes, it means abiding in the negativity, patiently waiting for it to relax its hold so I can move freely toward a better emotion.
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Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
Interesting thoughts, Kent. I need to think about this one.
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It’s more the fact that you have this thought, plus a back up, plus another back up (with justification). This puts you in a completely different perspective and one not to get twisted about.
EI not about soothing others but understanding there is another understanding x
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Yep. Or as I like to put it: “Feel your way towards a good state of mind.” But that isn’t as easily understood, even if it’s easier to say.
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I like this. It makes sense. Unfortunately. I’d prefer to hate it because it suggests unflattering things about my own EQ, but truth is truth.
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I’ve been a brute for most of my life, so I totally get it.
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That’s the thing! Not jumping too fast into positive thinking without first taking at least a sideways glance at the negative ones. I mean, for me, negative things surface for a reason and provide some good fuel too. Thanks for the thoughtful post. 🙂
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Yep. Negativity provides insight and direction, but I’ve all too often forgone the insight and direction so I can wallow in the negativity. It’s a bit tricky, sometimes.
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Yup, and if you surround yourself mostly with those who possess emotional intelligence too, you’ll head there even further.
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“But if I try to jump the gun and become too positive too fast (if it feels forced and phony) then it ends up working against me… So sometimes, it means abiding in the negativity, patiently waiting for it to relax its hold so I can move freely toward a better emotion.”
Definitely. And compare with this from Dune’s Litany Against Fear:
“I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.”
Sometimes you have to let yourself experience a negative emotion so you can get past it.
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Indeed! Or see that it was never that bad in the first place.
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