Is butt-stuff that great? I keep seeing articles about it pop up on my feed…
Time to find out.
I take a deep breath and lube up my index finger.
In the hole it goes…hmm…so far, it feels like I’m taking a giant shit. Not impressed.
Then my finger locks in place. What the fuck? Can’t…pull it…OUT…
An evil voice laughs into my mind: [Ooh hoo ha ha! OH HO HO HO!!]
[Who are you?] I think desperately. [WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY GODDAMN FINGER?]
[I’m hurt, Kent. Don’t you recognize your lifelong enemy?] A grinning, cadaver-like face flashes through my mind. No jawline, receded hair, and ugly as fuck.
Oh no! It’s Grammar Nazi Prime!
[It took the better part of two years, but I managed to plant a hypnotic suggestion in your pea-brained psyche. That bottle of lube you bought is no accident. It’s filled with nanotech robots—your gross motor movements are now under my complete control.]
[GO FUCK YOURSELF!] I project.
[Funny—I was about to say the same to you.] His grin grows wider. [Prepare for the second finger.]
[No—NO!] Sweat breaks out across my brow. My eyes tick back and forth as I try to think of something—ANYTHING—that’ll stop this bastard from widening my b-hole!
Then my middle finger starts worming its way in. Fuck it. No options left. I open my eReader to Kor’Thank, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
My eyes steel over. [Prepare to reap the whirlwind.] My finger finds the magic button inside my rectum and gives it a push. The foulest, stinkiest, evilest cum in the history of ejacs shoots from my wiener and teleports into Grammar Nazi Prime’s secret hideout, deluging his face with my asparagus-tainted load.
That’s what you get for your anal trickery! HEH heh heh! Kent Wayne wins again!
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