Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

I’m eeeevil….SOOOO EEEEEVVVILL…

“Sith Lord Kent!  The rebels have arrived!  In less than an hour, we shall crush those traitors beneath our heels!”

Fuck, man—I don’t wanna crush no rebels.  I signed up to be a Sith Lord for the cool black robes.  Now all I do is work, work, work.  Why couldn’t I have been like Anakin and spent my days rawdogging some Natalie-Portman looking hottie?  And come to think of it, why am I the evil one???  Luke Skywalker KISSED HIS SISTER and all they do is sing his praises!  Fuck that guy!  Incest-encouraging motherfucker!

“Coming, coming,” I grumble, snatching up my lightsaber and walking out of my jungle-moon compound.  Different day, same shit.  Gonna slice people in half, force-choke the crap out of them, blah-blah-blah.  Fuck my life.

Wait a second, why are the AT-ATs falling down and exploding?  Damn stormtroopers are firing like crazy, shouting at the top of their lungs to fall back, fall back…

Oh shit—YODA’S HERE!

I break for the hangar, trying but failing to suppress my fearful bitch-squeals.  Yoda hates me.  Years ago, I was fucking around on the astral plane, and I witnessed a dream of his where he rimmed Princess Leia before he slammed her from behind.  I broadcasted the dream to all and sundry—including Leia—which resulted in a shitload of weirdness between them, which is why they never physically met.  Now he’s here to fuck me up!

Relief surges through me as I enter the bay.  None of the rebels have made it this far.  All I gotta do is fire up a craft, and—

“Escape you will not.  Scum of the earth you are.”

FUCK!

Yoda levitates me in the air, telekinetically grabbing my balls and wrangling them like a pair of stress-relief squeeze-toys.

Fuck—AGH!  HURTS!

“Think you can peer in my dreams like a psychic pervert, hmm?  Pay you will—with both your testicles!”

Fuck it.  No options left.  I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

The wall breaks apart, courtesy of an alternating pair of reamplified lasers.  A helmeted figure flies in on a speeder bike, hooks me around the waist, and—

WHOOF!

—snatches me from the psychic clutches of a pissed-off, green-skinned halfling.  As I regain my bearings, I realize my rescuer is the hottest woman in the entire galaxy:  Soccer Mom Prime!

“Couldn’t let those beautiful testicles burst like grapes.”  She guns the throttle, kicking the alluvial engine up a couple notches.  It whines loudly as we rocket forward.  “Come on—let’s go drain them into my vajeen.”

Hot damn—you don’t have to tell me twice!  Fuck this Sith Lord shit!  I always knew my true calling was to sex up a Soccer Mom!

Kent Wayne wins again!  Ha HA!

😀

Are you sick of constantly fighting rebels when you could be fucking like a goddamn rabbit?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

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