Being a Man Whore through a pandemic, civil unrest, and murder hornets wasn’t easy, but I managed to pull it off. It’s 2022 and things are finally calming down. Whew!
I check the security cams from inside my underground bunker. All good. Time to come out.
I push up on the camouflaged door—a hatch that blends with the Southern California scrub—and poke my head through. After a careful look around, I decide it’s safe and start heading west—I haven’t seen the ocean in a couple of years. Gonna be nice to lay out and tan.
Man, there’s a lot of Soccer Moms who need to be serviced with my thick, upcurved wiener. Gotta buy em cards; send em out as thank yous for skyping me daily while I was living in my—
Wait—what the hell is in the sky? A bunch of drones, buzzing around and forming a message…
I shade my eyes with the flat of my hand. Can’t quite read it…
It resolves into focus: WE’RE THE LAST ATROCITY FROM 2020. YOU AIN’T SKIPPIN’ OUT, KENT. WE GOT SOMETHING FUH YO’ ASS—LITERALLY.
Oh NO! It’s a fleet of robo-dildos—USED ROBO-DILDOS!
I take off running towards the bunker, holding back tears of man-bitch panic. The fleet of dildos buzzes in close, encircling me in a storm of flying penises.
“Aah!” I raise a hand to protect my eyes. “NO, GO’WAY! LEEME ALONE!”
They start attacking.
Dirty robo-cocks blatter me across the torso and face, smearing me with nasty streaks of smelly butt-glop. I sputter and choke and try not to vomit. Ewwww—they smell like Steven Seagal’s unwashed neckbeard!
Only a matter of time before one of them breaks through my jeans and widens my asshole. So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
My wiener unwraps from around my ankle and thigh, suddenly imbued with otherworldly wisdom and interdimensional sentience. It tears through my pants and rises high, trumpeting loudly with its fluttering dicklips.
“WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER??? BOW BEFORE ME, UNWASHED AUTOMATA! YOU ARE NOTHING BEFORE MY GLANS AND FRENULUM!”
The machines stop swirling. They jerk back and forth in fitful, glitchy twitches. The air fills with unintelligible static, then a broken, mechanical voice sounds from their smeg-coated speakers:
“WE…BOW…TO YOU…KENT WAYNE…MIGHTY RULER OF THE PHALLIC KINGDOM.”
Yer damn skippy! Any who have a problem with that will answer to my army of unwashed robo-cocks! Ha HA!
Kent Wayne wins again!
Has 2020 tried to sneak a couple extra fingers into your unwilling butthole? Never fear! Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
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