False positivity stresses me out.  It feels like I’m holding a massive weight over my head, tiring out second by second.  But if I reach for the feeling of true relief—if I go from terribly negative to a little less negative, a little less negative into apathetic, and so on and so forth—my positivity isn’t false.  It’s a natural result of my easy intention.

I try to refrain from obsessing over the worst.  And if I do, then that’s okay, because time will pass and it’ll get better. 

Or—fuck it—the world will end and I’ll be too dead to care. 

(Sometimes, that’s the most positive thought I’m capable of mustering, but it inevitably leads to better-feeling states).

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7 thoughts on “Musings

  1. Hello. Thank you for following my blog. I recently started blogging and I’m glad you liked it. You are an ardent blogger and your work is truly admirable. Keep up with the good work. Also, if you like my posts, see and share so that I can get a wider audience for my blog. Have a nice day! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with your musing. Positivity is a one step at a time process. Though negativity is almost shamed in our culture, it has its time and purpose. In my opinion it is our subconscious recognizing something wrong and demanding a resolution. We have to work through it. Forced positivity never works, because it’s a lie. Balance is the key.

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  3. “The world will end and I’ll be too dead to care” is where I’m at this year of Satan (or whatever evil impersonation) of 2020. Forced positivity usually gets me into a much worse mood than allowing myself to feel what I’m feeling and dealing with it. I might try and be super positive to keep my sanity, but who am I kidding? It’s been gone for a while! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for this post. I also cannot stand false positivity. I am the type who has this ‘expect the worse’ then obviously you will not get overly depressed if things did not work out the way you were hoping it to.. Afterall, what could possibly be worse than than the worst eh?

    Liked by 1 person

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