“You ever seen it?” Beta Male Bill whispers. Light from the campfire glints off his eyes.
“I havent’,” Craven Cal whispers back. His tin of beans lies cold and forgotten, a fork sticking out from its jagged top.
I don’t say a thing. I too, have had my share of Kent Wayne nightmares. My name’s Little Dick Larry. Pleased to meet you.
“I used to be a goddamn king,” Bill laments. “We Beta Males ruled the land, persecuting Kent for his giant wiener. Now we gather around desolate campfires, recounting tales of woe before we fight off nightmares in our sleep. What happened to us?”
“His luscious glans were too beautiful,” I murmur. “It’s not that we didn’t stand a chance…it’s that we never even had one.”
“Maybe we can rise again,” Craven Cal ventures. “We did it before…”
There’s a long silence. We all stare blankly into the fire.
Finally, Bill mutters, “Maybe.”
I’ve toyed with these assholes long enough. Time to let them know who’s boss. I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
Arcane energy surges through me. My muscles ripple and bulge, growing from spindly little strands into cabled, Kent Wayne rippage. My wiener grows from a stunted nub into a big ol’ hog, dangling between my knees like an overripe eggplant that grew to prominence on a super-mutant vegetable farm. It bursts from my pants in a giant undulation of veiny flesh.
“AAAHHH!!” Cal screams. “IT’S KENT FUCKING WAYNE AND HIS LEGENDARY WOMB-HAMMER!!!”
Beta Male Bill tries to speak, but I swing my hips and neatly decapitate him with the head of my cock. Cal turns and flees. He makes it a dozen yards before I vault off the tip of my slobbering phallus, leaping high into the air and cutting an iconic silhouette against the glaring desert moon.
“NOW IS THE WINTER OF MY DISCONTENT!” I roar.
I land penis-first on Cal’s head, blattering his skull with the middle of my shaft. The sheer force of it destroys his vertebrae and jams his head down in his torso—the top of his scalp is now level with his blood-ringed clavicles.
Trynna hound me for my low-hanging hog? Don’t fucking think so! That’s what you get, you goddamn bigots!
Kent Wayne wins again! Ha HA!
Are you being harassed for your gorgeous nether parts? Never fear! Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited