Hmm…what to write, what to write…thousands of concepts have flowed through my fingers into this keyboard, but right now, my brain is stuck in a lurch…
Nothing comes to mind.
2 HOURS OF NETFLIX, 3 HOURS OF INTERNET, AND 48 MASTURBATIONS LATER…
Good lord, why can’t I think of something to motherfucking WRITE? My eyes are bleeding from all this meaningless screen time. I’ve drained my nuts entirely of sperm—I seriously don’t know if I even have testicles anymore. My sack hangs limp and flat against my taint, like a flying squirrel that’s OD’d on percoset.
Fuck this. I reach over to my eReader and open it to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
Martha Stewart busts through my wall, like the goddamn Kool Aid Man of ’80s yore. She grips my hair with her prison-hardened hand, yanking my head sharply back.
“Open wide, Man Whore!”
She stuffs a fistful of mushrooms down my GobberNoms, then withdraws her hand from my mouth and works my jaw, hissing, “Eat it. Eat it,” as tears trickle down both my cheeks.
My pupils dilate with psylocibin sorcery, then—
—my mind goes rocketing into the astral reaches, deluged by tides of idea and novelty. Yes!
Meanwhile, back on Earth, Martha hops on my boner and uses my body like a cheap box of Costco cupcake mix.
Kent Wayne wins again! 😀
Are you having trouble thinking up a story? Never fear! Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
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