The Internet.  Everyone thought it was a force for good.  Slowly but surely, it morphed from a nerd-driven curio into a less nerdy (but still nerdy) guerilla-ish cyberstructure, then into a full-on pillar of modern society.  People thought it would advance our development.  Ironically, it has done the exact opposite…

 

 

IT IS THE YEAR 2050.  THE INTERNET HAS GAINED CONSCIOUSNESS AND NEUTERED OUR BRAINS.  TROLLS, CLICKBAIT, TWITTER, AND INSTAGRAM HAVE DROWNED OUR PSYCHES IN AN EVER-RISING TIDE OF MENTAL SMEGMA…

 

Oh no!  I drive through the streets of San Francisco, avoiding the flash of random phone screens.  Everywhere I look, people gape vacantly at their glowing idiot boxes, caught in a storm of collective id.  I manage to resist through sheer force of will, but godDAMN do I wanna sneek a peek at some Instagram booty…

NO!

I take a hard right, toward my girlfriend’s.  Soccer Mom Prime lives in a suburban McMansion, a seven-bedroom monster where she boffs me silly.  I’ll let her pack a couple essentials, then we’ll flee into the desert.  Get away from this hellish technopolis.  Pull in her driveway, shift into park, get out of the car.  Run to her office, where…

CURSES!

SMP’s beautiful eyes are dull and vacant, transfixed by a barrage of online ads.  The devices around her—holo-tablet, holo-phone, haptic interlink—are assaulting her mind with discordant colors and cacophonous sounds.

Damn you, Internet!  DAMN YOU!!!

One option left.  I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

The quantum restraints around my wiener and balls break free, allowing my genitals to assume their true, heavenly glory.  Girthy shaft, pulsing veins, diamond-hard upcurve…

I take a pic of it and upload it to the cloud.  BAKOOM!  Just broke the Internet!

Nearby machines fritz and spark.  Acrid smoke wafts from their consoles as they crack and darken.  SMP’s eyes go from vacant and dull to clear and knowing.

“Kent Wayne—Man Whore Extraordinaire.  I knew you’d save me.  Let’s make out.  Time to put that wiener to good use.”

Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

 

 

Has an evil eDemon hypnotized your soulmate?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜