The After-Being! A post-life stretch of blissful eternity where all my desires are instantly made real! I romp amongst legions of soccer moms, making pew pew noises each time I bust! They accept my idiocy with easy laughter; this is the After-Being, after all! Neither my juvenile humor nor my stinky seed elicit a violent reprisal from a hidden taser!
But then the sky darkens. Ominous thunder rumbles through the cloudscape. A winged, trench-coated figure appears on the horizon and flies toward me.
“Uriel. What do you want?” Officially, he’s the After-Being’s Chief Gaoler and Deporter of Souls. Unofficially, he’s a giant dick.
“Kent.” He flips open his ID badge with a practiced motion. “Time’s up, man. You’re gonna work for me as a Clerk of Gaols and Deportation.”
“FUCK you!” I snarl. “There is no WAY I’m giving up ungodly orgasms and pew pew noises! No way in HELL!”
“Language,” he chides. “Remember where you’re at. Now come along peacefully, before I open a can of Flaming Sword on your ornery ass.”
Gulp. Flaming Sword is no small matter. No options left. So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
A portal opens below me. By its auric signature, Uriel can instantly see it leads to Earth.
“No!” he yells, reaching toward me. “Do NOT go in that portal, or I swear to the Big Guy I’ll—”
Too late, asshole! SHEEEEEOOOOOOOP!
And now here I am, in my human body, ready to wield my prodigious member in service of Soccer Moms! (This ain’t the After-Being, though, so I gotta take it easy on the asparagus, and fucking FORGET about the pew-pew noises). Eat smegma, Uriel! Ha HA!
Is a divinely appointed dickhead trying to saddle you with a shitty 9-5 you could’ve easily gotten on the physical plane? Fuck that cocksmear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜