Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

Blast and Damn!  My evil minions have failed to bring me the head of that accursed trollop Kent Wayne!  I have deployed Grammar Nazis, Beta Males, chihuahuas, cats, and all other manner of Anti-Dog, yet that freewheeling Man Whore and epic sci fi author continues to elude me!  May the fates strike his gigantic penis with ruin and rot!

Greetings.  My name is Baxter Von Derbilus.  Old-timey villain and general hater of all things joyful.

Hmmm…how to address this dratted conundrum…I stroke my Goatee of Evil as I walk through my Lab of Anguish, letting my gaze drift across my vast collection of brains in jars, half-born homunculi, and miniature cities in domed platters, all governed by Razorcry Imps.

My Abhorrent Oddities bring no pleasure, for Kent Wayne has managed to thumb his nose at me, delighting soccer moms with his prodigious member whilst churning out volume after volume of wondrous stories.  He must be stopped.  To that end, I have employed nearly every tool in my monstrous arsenal.  Now I will strike with my most potent weapon:  the Sorrowtwist Crystal.  An ancient artifact that can wither a man’s life force through thought and intention.

I whip off a dusty blanket, unveiling a crystal orb mounted on a desiccated hand.  It’s base is comprised of petrified roots, all spiraling upward until they narrow into the hand.

Black mist fills the orb, lighting its innards with dull green light.  It swirls apart with a sibilant hiss, revealing an image of the oaf known as Kent Wayne.  True to form, he’s having intercourse with a bevy of soccer moms.

Time to end this.

I spread my fingers, clawlike, around the orb.  The magic takes effect–he seizes and spasms; his beautiful, Man Whore skin turns ashy and pale.  Necrotic veins creep across his muscle-cabled body.

And then he reaches past the side of his stained futon, fumbling his eReader open to Echo and activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

NO!

He shrugs off my ill intentions with a flex of his mind, then, through our arcane link, projects his disgustingly large wiener into my lab.

“Guess what?” he crows.  “I just finished up with the ten best orgasms of my muh’fuckin’ LIFE!  Meaning it’s the perfect time for a shiny-slick SNAIL TRAIL, right across yo’ face and MOUTH!”

“What?”  I wrinkle my brow, puzzled, but as realization hits, my confusion turns to horror.  His penis sniffs around my lab like an inquisitive canine, then arrows toward my forehead, glans glistening with post-coital fluids.

Agh!  No!  NO!!!  It’s touching me!  It’s—

IT BURRRRNSSSSS!!!!  NYAAAAAAHHH!!!!

 

 

Are you at odds with an evil, old-timey archnemesis?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

6 thoughts on “Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

  1. I still wish I could buy a kindle so I can read your books; but, the powers that be dictate other wise. I got a new series of stories; but, I don’t know how to cauterize them. They take place in a swamp and the town 5 miles north of it. There is a boy that has webbed toes and gills. His parents had died when he was 5. The townsfolk are rather harsh with him. Nobody wants him; so, he lives alone in his parents house. The men from the town told him to never return. So, he decides to take revenge on them by using the swamp animals to scare them or anybody from the swamp. What do you think I should do with them.

    Liked by 1 person

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