My name is Kent Wayne. I’m five years old. My life is a bright, shining road, paved with boundless potential and exciting possibilities.
Or IS it?
I crack my knuckles and start poking around the interwebs. Reams of data flash before my eyes, assaulting my mind with terrifying scenarios: middle school, high school, college, first job, student debt, corporate bosses, ambien, Prozac, inevitably ending in a quiet life of frantic desperation…
NO! HOLY FUCKING GOD, WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS?!?!?
No options left. So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
“Come hither, Kent Wayne, and partake of my sacrament.” A glowing, super-muscular version of myself materializes in the air and beckons with an incandescent wave of his star-shimmer fingers. In his other hand, he’s holding a gob of something white.
“What…what is it?” I ask, taking a tentative step forward.
He smiles lovingly at me. “Your soon to be favorite: Elmer’s paste, fresh from the bottle.”
I raise an eyebrow, doubtful. “Paste?”
“It’s delicious—trust me.”
“Okaaaaay…if you say so…” I take another step forward, closing my eyes and opening wide. I’ve never liked the way paste smelled. I hope it doesn’t taste wei—
Holy NOMS! PASTE IS DELICIOUS!!!
My new future flashes through my mind’s eye. I’m a strong AF freewheeling Man Whore, sexing up soccer moms and writing crazy ass science fiction on a regular basis!
I throw my arms back and roar with triumph. “RUAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”
And that, my friends, is how Kent Wayne became who he is! Ha HA!
Don’t want to be a tie-wearing cog in the uncaring guts of a massive, corporate behemoth? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜