“Is that IT?” Taylor Swift throws her head back and laughs raucously. “Pathetic! You only gave me a dozen orgasms, Kent! You’ll never be anything more than a second-rate man whore! Take this fistful of crumpled ones and get the fuck out of here! AHAHAHA!!!” She throws a wad of dirty cash at my tear-streaked face.
“You’ll see!” I cry as I bundle up my clothes and try (unsuccessfully) to hold back my tears. “Someday I’ll be rich and powerful! You’ll regret treating me like this, Taylor!”
“The fuck did you say?” She bolts up from the bed and fixes me with a glare.
“Aaah! Nothing!” I let out a terror-fart and try to flee, but she blurs in front of me and grabs me by the throat, lifting me off the floor. Damn her pop princess black magic powers!
“Gllk…please!” I gasp, clawing at my throat. “Can’t…breathe…”
Her eyes glow red with devilish malice. Her lips widen into a predatory smile. Fuck it. No options left. So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
Soccer Mom Prime comes busting through the wall, chopping the air with both hands and sprinting forward like the T-1000. Taylor turns around and manages a quick “What the—” before SMP launches into the air like a Neo with boobs, flashing a triple kick into Taylor’s throat. The alpha mom lands, kung-fu backsweeps Taylor off her feet, and snaps her neck as soon as she her back hits the deck.
“Well.” Soccer Mom Prime claps the dust off her hands. “That’s the end of that.” She gives me an appraising once-over. “Come on, get that wiener out so we can pound one out. SUVs this way.” She strides toward her double-parked Ford Expedition.
I dust myself off and follow in her footsteps. Soccer Mom lovin’—OH yeah!
Has your pop idol finally gotten tired of you, and no longer gives your beautiful genitals the respect and courtesy they friggin’ deserve? Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜