Musings

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha16 Comments

Ever since I can remember, my soul has harbored a roaring fire.  I’ve tried to douse it with comfort and platitudes, but that only pushed it down, where it would eat away at me, and eventually erupt as unchecked aggression or stifling depression.

The only way I’ve ever made peace with it is to continually push myself on every front I can, to do my best with what I have and constantly check to see if I can do better.

And then, when I lay my head down on my pillow, the fire dims from an unbearable roar into a pleasant glow, and it warms my heart.

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16 thoughts on “Musings”

  1. I think a similar secret sauce is to avoid regret. A failure or mistake is one thing, but to regret those things suggests that you did not make the best effort or were not honest with yourself and others. I have felt bad about saying things that hurt feelings, but I have not regretted it. The reason for not regretting saying those things is that I was being honest and not saying such things out of malice. I can tell the difference between feeling sad and feeling regret, too. Feeling sad, but knowing you did or said what you needed to is way different than feeling sad and saying “would’ve, could’ve should’ve”… having a regret. Regret eats at you… not good. It’s a fine line in some cases, but a line that I work to not cross.

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    • Indeed! One of the best mantras to use is: “That’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” Maybe it could objectively be argued either way…but this primes your perception to accept, find, and utilize any hidden lessons within the experience to turn that mantra from belief into truth.

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  5. You are lucky. I see many souls that are down to a pilot light. My own soul bled its light into the black hole of my Catholic upbringing. My soul nullified the black hole, but now I’m this finite soul-man thing, and I don’t properly fit in anywhere.

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    • I’ve gone through dark times myself and come to the conclusion they’re actually gifts! Somewhere in there, you’ve been given experiences and perspectives that have primed you to relate in a way no other can, and to capitalize on opportunities no other could.

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