Weaponized light hits the earth, causing plumes of dirt to erupt around me.
The rounds may have hit a dozen yards away, but they were fired by a Tyrant-class star-gunner; their re-amplified turbolasers are several classes above the standard pew pew. The smell of char and ozone floods the air—shit, they’re gonna zero me with their next salvo.
Fucking Grammar Nazis. Once they took over, they reinforced their dead-ass, pedantic-as-fuck writing with skyfire and stormtroopers.
I hear atonal thunder sound from above, and before the rounds can impact, I throw up a winking, circuitry-threaded globe high into the air. It blows apart into a semi-transparent umbra of iridescent light, momentarily shielding me from the overhead barrage. Lasers splash against the curve, transforming into undulant waves that ripple harmlessly over its nacreous surface. A second later, my protection disappears.
Fuck. That was my last lumo-shield. I’m out of options.
So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
“Hi-yo fucking SILVER!”
Ernest Hemingway comes screaming out of a cloud in a World War I dogfighter. He’s got the leather hood, big-ass goggles, and classy scarf of those steel-dicked pilots from way back when. He lifts a flask to his lips and knocks back some whiskey (classic Hemingway) and starts blasting away at my cock-faced pursuers. You may think he has no chance against state-of-the-art sci-fi fighters, but you’d be dead wrong—the machine gun on his fighter doesn’t spit out metal-jacketed rounds; it peppers the Grammar Nazis with pure creativity.
Radiant streams of Batman symbols, anime robots, cartoon cocks, and a host of other emotion-inducing, punch-the-air-and-hoot-with-joy icons pepper the star-gunners, denting their hulls with unfettered imagination. As Grammar Nazi ships spiral to the earth, I let loose with a joyous scream.
I will NEVER bow to you, Grammar Nazis! NEVER—you hear me??? Ha HA!
Are nitpicky dorkwards trying to leech der Good Shtuff from everything you write? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
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