MEDITATION SESSION #498293
LOCATION: MY CUSTOMIZED FUCK-ROOM (BEDROOM), SAN FRANCISCO CA
TIME: 3:00 AM PACIFIC (BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT’S A PERCEPTUAL ILLUSION, SO TAKE THAT INFO WITH A GRAIN OF SALT)
Psycho-memetics? On. Neuro-kinetics? Primed. Aetheric meridians? At optimal conductivity.
Time to go deep.
I flex my will, and—
—go rocketing into the psychedelic realms. All semblance of “normal” falls away as I break through the veil of cause and effect. I wallow for a while in the nondual state, wiping out the idea of separation and potential, then I instantiate the First Duality—that of Creator and creation, intention and result. Waves of bliss run through my thought-form, manifesting as fantastic gradients of wordless colors. I play with existence as if it were putty, layering duality on duality, weaving endless variations of matter and energy, physics and causality. Heroes, villains, love, sorrow…
A raspy, smug voice interrupts my play: “I was wondering when you’d get around to me.”
The fuck? I look irritably around and lock eyes with—
FUCK! Grammar Nazi Prime!
The bespectacled cunt-booger floats toward me, disturbing my Mindscape with his toneless limbs and receding hair line.
“No!” I gasp. “Stay back! STAY BACK!”
His pale, bloodless lips widen into a ferocious smile. “I’m taking ALL your creativity, Kent. No sentence fragments, no adverbs, no creating new words that operate off feel and connotation instead of established terminology…”
Gangrene-ish green erupts throughout my thought-form. My meridians turn dark and miasmic.
“Fuck you!” I hiss. “LEAVE ME ALONE!”
“Not a chance.” His smile grows wider.
No options left. So I reach deep into my psyche and tap the concept for a sci-fi epic called Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
A symbol-threaded lightning bolt crashes down from above, enveloping me in a tidal flush of meaning and purpose. Revelations blaze through my psyche, opening my third eye and allowing me to see what I was truly meant to be. Holy shit—an author, a philosopher, a…a…
A Man Whore.
A yoked-ass body forms around my causal substrate, complete with giant, girthy penis and heavy, pendulous balls. I look down at my upturned palms, gaping in amazement.
“No!” Grammar Nazi Prime’s eyes widen in fear. “Big penis—the bane of my existence! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
The energy in my balls builds to peak. I throw my head back and let loose with a roar: “RUAAAAHHH!!!” Rainbows, unicorns, and Ancient, Nameless Wonders shoot out from my glans, banishing Grammar Nazi Prime back to the soulless hell from whence he came.
That’s right mofo—Kent Wayne writes whatever he feels like, HOWEVER he feels like! And if you don’t like it, then you’d best be ready for a giant dose of holy cum! Mwahahahaha!
Has your beast-ass meditation been interrupted by a Grammar Nazi? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜