There’s precious little you can do, if you’re ever stabbed with a red-ink pen by a dyed-in-the-wool Grammar Nazi. Maybe watch your brains dribble out your ears and down to your chin, before they slop to the floor and collect into a gray-matter puddle. Yep—you’re pretty much done-skies.
Can’t even enjoy one last jerk—grammar makes my dick into the fleshy equivalent of an over-boiled noodle. Like trynna play pool with a goddamn rope.
And so here I am, hovering over my dead, Man Whore body, staring down at Grammar Nazi Prime as he laughs maniacally at me. What a cock. He thinks I’m dead, but I’m really not.
An hour ago, I ingested a custom-engineered form of Datura Stramonium (otherwise known as Jimson’s Weed, the Haitian zombie root), to put me into a death-like trance. (I also ate some beast-ass ribeyes to counteract his pansy-ass red-ink poison). This dickhead doesn’t think a damn thing of it; he’s too busy crowing over my unconscious body.
Unbeknownst to him, the Datura is responsive to my prefrontal cortex. If I decide to, I can still control my body’s gross motor functions. It may not respond as fast, but he has no idea of the dickstomping danger that lies at his feet.
I order my body to reach into its pocket, withdraw an eReader, and open it to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
The Cock of Legend flops out of my pants, twitching and spasming like a giant sea-creature in the throes of electrocution. The Grammar Nazi, who’s unused to seeing any genitalia longer than 0.3587 inches long, screams in horror. He clutches his head and bangs against the walls, voicing a low, constant moan: “No no no no NO NO NO!!!” His entire body starts vibrating; he drops to the floor and then he—
—blows apart into a filthy mess of blood and guts. GROSS.
But I can’t say he didn’t deserve it. Ha HA! That’s what you get for trying to kill me with your disgusting red ink! BOOYAH!
Do you need to pull some Batman-level switcheroo on one of your mortal effin’ enemies? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜