“DON’T YOU DARE EAT THAT PASTE, KENT!”
Mrs. Milfymamms, my third-grade teacher and MILF Extraordinaire, slaps the delectable bottle of Elmer’s out of my hand. A pained whimper escapes my lips as it tumbles end over end and flies out the door.
“No!” I scream, uncrossing my legs and bolting to my feet. “You unbelievable WHOR—”
Her steely, Crossfit-strengthened fingers clamp tight around my mouth. “Language,” she hisses. “You finish that sentence and you’re going straight to the principal’s office. Not an auspicious start to your third year in school.”
“EAT MY AUSPICIOUS ASS!” I shout, collapsing her elbow with my left hand and tearing her fingers away with my right (that’s some basic grip-fighting for you, mwahaha!).
And then I reach into my pocket and open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
“RUAAAAHHH!!!” I throw my arms back and roar at the sky, Highlander style, as eldritch curls of light dance up and down my levitating body. Mrs. Milfymamms takes a step back and shields her face with a raised forearm. Thunder cracks and sparks sizzle. The wind rises to a howling keen, and for a brief, unbearable second, blinding light floods the room. I can see Mrs. Milfymamms screaming, but her voice is lost in the sound and fury.
And then it subsides. My magic-charged body lowers to the ground, and I look down at my upturned hands. ,my eyes wide with undisguised wonder.
“Holy SHIT.” Mrs. Milfymamms pushes off her knee and slowly gets to her feet. Her eyes are just as wide as mine. “You are HOT!”
She’s right…my thirty-year-old body is sheathed in cabled muscle, and my big ol’ donkey-dong is swinging gently between my knees–a pendulum losing the last of its energy.
“Um…” I look up at her. I don’t know what to say.
Her eyelids droop, and a blob of drool forms on the corner of her mouth. “Come here,” she whispers throatily. “You filthy he-slut. You giant piece of cock-meat. You disgustingly beautiful Man Whore.”
I stride forward with an enormous grin, my nutsack and wiener bobbing in time with my jaunty steps. Up until now, I never realized what my calling was, but how much clearer could it get?
Man Whore it is!
Wanna skip all the angst and bullshit and soul-searching that comes with school, adolescence, and your early twenties? I’ve got just the thing! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜