“MOLOCH THE OWL GOD DEMANDS YOUR CHILDREN, MUAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
The blood-red skies crackle with thunder. A terrifying figure circles above, casting a spread-winged shadow across the ground. I’m running through the streets with hundreds of others, screaming my motherfucking head off: “EEEE! EEEE! EEEE!” (I’m not proud of it, but if I start to panic, I’ll let out a man-bitch-pig-squeal that’ll make your ears bleed.)
Moloch circles in front of us and swoops down, bisecting a beta-male with a swipe of his beak. The beta-male’s top half flops right, his bottom half flops left. A Soccer Mom running beside me clenches her fists up by her chin and gasps in horror.
“Come on!” I spin her around so we can run the other way. “It’s only a beta-male! Their lives are horrible and pathetic—it’s better this way!” I reach down and grab her hand, making sure she doesn’t get lost in the tumult and chaos, and we take off running.
Moloch’s primal growls fill the air as he tears into his latest victim, devouring the body in less than a second. A moment later his winged shadow flits across the ground; the goddamn bastard’s taken to the skies again. A fresh round of screams pierces the air.
“YOUR CHILDREN!” Moloch screeches. “GIVE ME YOUR CHILDREN!”
Fuck—if he eats all the beta-males, there’ll be no one to make fun of. (Well…there’ll still be Grammar Nazis, but here’s my point: he’s going to devour all the pathetic, little-dicked shit-eaters that prop up my ego. I need them around to protect my fragile self image).
So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
My wiener rips free of my pants. The cum builds at the base of my balls, and then, in a spasmic twitch—
SKEET SKEET SKEET!
—fully-formed Kents shoot from the tip of my dick. That’s right, bitches—I’m so damn manly I cum FULLY FORMED HUMANS! (Got that from a Chuck Norris joke, in case you were wondering). They launch from my penis toward Moloch; completely naked, hunched over and ready to grapple, a badass look on their chisel-jawed faces.
The owl god’s eyes widen in horror.
“No—NO! That’s not what I meant by ‘give me your children!’ OH GOD THE SMEGMA ALONE—”
And then they smother him in a gross-ass blanket of naked Kents, beating and pummeling him with unrestrained savagery, rubbing their balls, butt and taint all across his feathers as he plummets to the earth. He manages a strangled, protracted cry:
Ain’t no beast-demon that can withstand my nasty-ass progeny! You serious, bro??? Ha HA! Kent Wayne—sci fi author, consummate Man Whore, and Disgusting Human Being—wins again!
Has your world been invaded by some crazy-ass evil that wants to eat your babies? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜