I emerge from my meditation gasping and sputtering, bending over and clutching at my chest. Concerned monks rush to my side.
“What is it, Kento Watanabe?” the head monk, Benkei, asks me.
I throw a haunted glance at him. “In a few generations, we will no longer be a community of ass-kicking psychedelic—” (*nothing to do with drugs; badass meditation can bring about the same states*) “—pioneers. The majority of us will turn into a bunch of namby-pamby yuppies who excuse themselves from real-world problems with mealy-mouthed platitudes! FUCK!”
“Bro, there is no WAY I’m gonna stop getting after it with my sickle-and-chain,” Shinran, the biggest monk in our ’stery, asserts in an ominous, don’t-fuck-with-me voice. “The whole reason I joined this community was to slice up bandits and stroke my murder-boner.”
“I too, have seen this in my meditations,” Benkei says in a reassuring tone. “Our traditions and concepts will become largely co-opted by beta-minded patchouli-sniffers. Do not worry brothers—it is the way of things. It is—”
“FUCK THAT!” I yell. Then I reach into my robes and withdraw a roll of parchment upon which I’ve written a science fiction epic called Echo. As I flap it open, letting it unfurl in a glimmer-threaded twist of light, I activate its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
“WHOA HO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” The essence of my being flies free of my body, crashing through the existential membrane, shooting through a sequence of consciousness-formed barriers, fast-forwarding through life after life after life. All throughout, I focus on my desired incarnation: the one with the rippling abs, giant dick, wiseass mouth, and—
HOACHI MAMA! I bolt straight up in my chair and cast a wild look around. I’m in my San Francisco studio…I’m a well-endowed writer…I’m…I’m…
Kent Wayne, Professional Man Whore, at your service.
Have you mother-effin’ HAD it with sandalwood and wizard costumes and a complete lack of genital stimulation? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜