“The Cursed Forest,” I whisper, pushing aside a clutch of reeking, barbed fibers with the flat of my sword. “There are entities here that feed off pain and misery—things that would lay eggs in our guts while we still drew breath.”
“Truly?” My companion Klyshale Firefringe throws me a skeptical look.
“Indeed.” I scan the forbidding twists of evil plant matter.
We trod forward for a couple of minutes. My entire body has become an antenna, trying to detect the slightest disturbance in the breeze or the light. Dust-spotted moonbeams spear through the woods, flickering ominously as winged creatures dart across their breadth.
“Klyshale,” I whisper. “Ready your bow. If we encounter any flyers, it might come in handy.”
I turn around. He’s gone—nowhere to be seen. I snap my sword up into guard.
“Klyshale? KLYSHALE!” My voice echoes back to me in varying tones: amused, accusatory, frightened, angry.
Beads of sweat form on my brow. I need to get out of here. Seven Hells, if I can’t see what’s coming, then—
A tortured howl sounds from directly behind me. I spin in place, glimpsing a toothy maw and slimy tentacles. One of them wraps around my ankle. I cut it in two with a downward swing. The others shoot toward me and my sword transforms into a glinting blur, slicing madly through a mess of wriggling, churning tendrils. Another howl shoots through the air, making something rupture deep inside my skull. Warm blood pours from my nose and ears. As my vision hazes red, I realize I am well and truly fucked.
So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
My body starts expanding, and I suddenly realize I was only half an inch tall. As I grow into a full-sized man, everything makes perfect sense. The Cursed Forest. The nightmarish predators.
I was trapped in Gary Busey’s hairy, fetid asscrack.
I beat a quick retreat, running out the door as Gary tosses and turns atop a yellow-stained mattress. As the door bangs shut, I catch a glimpse of him scratching his nuts with nicotine-lined fingernails.
Whew—that was CLOSE!
Has some evil sorcerer wiped your memory and trapped you in an anal horror show? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜