What the leaky dick is happening, all my fine fellows who tolerate oozy, precum-tipped glans when you’re ready to get your coitus on, but eye that very organ with the same disgust you’d regard a mucous-y snail with in the event your hormones have been set to OFF? This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo and download you some episodes of the Strained Brains podcast! (And to leave a positive review for them as well! 🙂 ) Just to allay your fears: neither Echo nor my podcast are about gross-ass snail trails left on the couch, the bed, and the edges of your enemy’s coffee mug; no freakin’ way! Echo’s all about a cyborg-infused dark age, existential commentary, and super-cool psionic weaponry like the Blaze Avatar! Also, if you’ve read any of my books, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon. Amazon reviews only take a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means). To give you an idea of how non-leaky-dicked amazing positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this: you’re a little-ass kid again, trick-or-treating to your heart’s content, trading hushed whispers with your eight-year-old buddy about who gives out the Big Candy Bars. Suddenly, one of those pimply-faced O’Doyle bullies jumps out of the bushes, punching you mercilessly while screaming “O’Doyle rules!” When your friend tries to intervene, O’Doyle throws a savage backhand, knocking him away. Suddenly, 1990s Adam Sandler bicycles furiously up to O’ Doyle, stops, and proclaims:
“Your mom’s mouth and asshole rule. Kent’s gonna find that out soon enough.” He nods solemnly at me, and his voice lowers to a near-whisper. “It’s his destiny.”
O’Doyle runs off sobbing, terrified by the prospect of me bringing his mother to the brink of a thunderous orgasm through a combination of my thick, upcurved penis, and a pair of dangly, slappy balls making loud contact with her engorged clitoris. I’m sobbing too—but from a paroxysm of joy, rather than a horrific epiphany. Billy Madison smiles gently, then dematerializes in an upward-drifting rain of iridescent sparkles.
“You’re welcome,” he says.
YES! See, that rush of blissful vengeance you’d feel at getting to keep your well-earned candy, along with the knowledge that you’ll one day plow your enemy’s mom and give her the best nether-pleasure she’s experienced in her entire freakin’ life is EXACTLY what we indie author/podcasters feel when we get a positive review on Amazon or iTunes! So do your favorite indie author/podcaster (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a fuck-O’-Doyle favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons or the ’Tunes! Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!! 🙂 🙂 😀
Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜