How do I think up stories? Well, first thing I do is start typing—fill that white space with whatever’s on my mind, even if it happens to be meaningless blather. Then I play with my wiener for a good thirty minutes (don’t lie—all you writers know EXACTLY what I’m talking about) before I disgust myself with how much time I’ve wasted. Perhaps I engage in some white-guy dance-moves while listening to outdated hip-hop. At long last, when my imagination is fed up with my dithering and ready to engage…
I get on fiftyplusmilfs and jerk off.
GodDAMMIT! Why can’t I think of something??? I’ve filled four socks to the fucking brim—and these are knee-highs, mind you, not ankle-lengths—and I haven’t had a SINGLE IDEA! What to write what to write what to WRITE….out of sheer frustration, I leap out of my chair and circle my studio, arms extended, making loud airplane noises with my mouth. NeeeeEEEOOOO!!! SHEEEEOOOOOoooo…
No options left. So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
A pair of deviant, musclebound sprites materialize in the air. One of them stuffs a bag of shrooms down my throat while the other grabs my ear and starts power-fucking it.
“AHH!” I scream. “DON’T CUM IN THERE!”
“ ’Bout to do to your brain what you do to a soccer mom’s cervix, you human degenerate.”
The sprite grunts and howls, extending its right leg out to the side. Its foot shakes and spasms like a fish out of water. Suddenly, magic pixie-jizz floods my skull, and
My mind bursts with images of dinosaurs piloting X-wings, big ol’ winged wieners flying through a dreamworld of magic, Chuck Norris riding in a car made entirely of pizza…
B’BAM! Kent Wayne is BACK, baby!
The sprites disappear and I sit down at my computer, ready to pound out some story. OH yeah!
Does your creativity need a blast of magical sprite-cum to jump it into gear? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜