What the turd fascination is happening, all my fellow liars who purport to never have been tempted to take a picture of that one perfect dook in all your years of dooking where it coiled into a neat spiral and poked its perfectly formed tip out of the water? This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo and download you some episodes of the Strained Brains podcast! (And to leave a positive review for them as well! 🙂 ) Just to allay your fears: neither Echo nor my podcast are about the primal sense of wonder and pride that floods the depths of our being when we give birth to an impeccable piece of fecal art; no way bromato brotatos! Echo’s all about cyborg pew-pew, dark socioeconomic commentary, hair-faced rowr beasts, and dope-ass psychic weaponry like the Blaze Avatar! Also, if you’ve read any of my books, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon. Amazon reviews only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means). To give you an idea of how poop-free amazing positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this: you’re walking through your house, and—aagh! Thhhbt! Nyaa!—INVISIBLE SPIDER WEBS! ALL TICKLY AND FEATHERY AND BRUSHING UP AGAINST YOUR FUCKING FACE! It doesn’t stop—for the next twenty minutes, tiny little strands alight across your cheeks and nose, driving you damn near batshit fucking insane.
And then you see your Ex’s face grinning at you from the shadowy depths of a dimly lit corner.
The webs aren’t imaginary.
They’re your Ex’s unkempt pubes.
“AHHHH!!!!” Your mouth begin working at lightspeed, offering up prayers to SEAL Team Six, Superman, Luke Skywalker—goddamn ANYONE—to save you from your Satan-pledged Ex, and from their smeg-fected prehensile short-n-curlies. Before a river of fear and blood pours from your anus, Chuck Norris crashes through your window and collapses into a roll.
“Ain’t no pubes that can withstand mine!” he declares. “I got ’em on my wiener AND my face!” Then he runs at your Ex, screaming, “Let’s have us a hair-off, you godless commie!”
You run screaming from your home, tears of relief and terror mingling together on your quivering cheeks. YES! See, that rush of adrenailne-threaded joy you’d feel at being saved by a roundhouse-powered movie star icon is EXACTLY what we indie authors feel when we get a positive review on Amazon or iTunes! So do your favorite indie author/podcaster (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a landing stripped favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons and the ‘Tunes! Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!! 🙂 🙂 😀
Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜