Being able to manage “screwups” by recognizing their potential and relegating them to an area where they can do no harm and still produce benefits is an invaluable skill. It’s actually one that I use on myself.
Because I know in certain contexts, I can function with confidence, and in others, I had best step aside and let someone else lead. There is no judgment, no labeling someone a “badass” or “loser,” there is only the recognition of the problem to be solved, and the emplacement of measures to solve it. (and personally, I also like to focus on what I need to improve, and take active measures to address the discrepancy for future purposes).
Ironically, when I take self-worth out of the picture, I feel perfectly at ease with who I am.
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
Wow
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Language plays a strong role in interactions and self awareness. Substituting “break down” for “screw up” would be my first amendment. This term allows people to own up to mistakes and tell what made them think that way, if their actions were instrumental. I like the systemic perspective ala Kaizen.
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Maybe I’m just unduly influenced by the military, but using language that is blunter and more aggressive works better for me on a personal level. It seems to encourage clarity (from a lack of beating around the bush, so to speak) and the willingness to step up and take personal ownership of the situation. I think I understand your point, though; if self-worth becomes part of the equation as a result of antagonistic language, then egos get spun up and detract from the effectiveness of a given approach or strategy.
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Right. I think it helps when more than one person is involved, and the problem is systemic. When your car stops working, we say it broke down. When a machine stops working, we say it is broken. Both imply that repair vs. rebuke is needed.
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But sometimes, the repair is done THROUGH rebuke, right? I think once again, it boils down to effectiveness bounded by personal ethics.
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I think, it also helps people bring out the mistake or problem when they might be embarrassed or afraid of criticism. There are plenty of times when a problem is not reported by the person who may have caused the accident right away, when prompt reporting is important. I spent six years in the military, so I know SNAFU and “now what.”
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Yeah I agree with you; reactive fear of outlandish shame and castigation can destroy long-term performance, simply because it encourages the development of sycophants or people falling in line just out of fear for their image or self-worth.
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Ego is the end-all of progress
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