“So before we get started, I’d like to welcome our newest member: Kent Wayne. We’re glad to have you with us, Kent.”
Remember your training, Kent—you’re a corporate nine to fiver now.
“Yeah absolutely, Jim,” I reply. “I can’t wait to start working with your staff here, and bringing the latest paradigm shift into your wheelhouse.”
Jim Belchick responds with an easy laugh and adjusts his glasses. “We’re all looking forward to seeing what you can do. In the meantime, I’d like to start this meeting with a trust-building exercise. If we could all stand up and scoot this conference table off to the side…”
We push the table toward the windows.
“Okay.” Jim gives us a level glance. “I’d like us to do some trust falls. We’re all a family here, right? I want everyone to know that if one of us falls, the rest of us will catch that person. Kent, you’re first. Stand up on this chair we’ve got right here—” Mark grabs the top rail of a chair and plunks it in front of a double row of people who’ve interwoven their arms. “And fall backward. When you do, you can tell us anything you want and none of will judge you. The trust fall isn’t just physical; it’s about admitting all the grungy stuff and being okay with it—like if we accidentally ate each others’ lunches, or maybe if we made someone feel unsafe because we made eye contact with them for a little too long.”
“Thanks Jim.” I get up on the chair, take a deep breath, and cross my arms over my chest. “I’m ready.”
“Okay,” Jim says. “On three, Kent. One, two, th—”
I fall back and scream, “50plusmilfs is WAY better than MomPOV!”
“Whoa whoa WHOA!” Jim yells.
They drop me to the floor, shrinking away as if they’d just found out that I practiced the dark arts.
There’s a long moment of silence.
Then Mark screams: “HE’S WAY TOO OPEN ABOUT HIS SEXUAL DEVIANCIES! DESTROY HIM!”
Their faces twist with hatred. Snarls of rage erupt from their mouths as they brandish pens, company manuals, letter openers, staplers…
No options left. I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
Bitefighter—my loyal buddy, 83rd level intellect, and Terrier Extraordinaire—crashes through the door and dives into a roll. As his stubby little legs pump against the tile, he flings his forepaws out, throwing smoke bombs like the little dog-ninja he is. He runs by me, clips a carabiner onto my belt, and I hear the WHZZZZ of a decelerant line extending from his doggy combat harness. Then he tucks his head and sprints elbow-first into the fiftieth story window, breaking through the glass into the sunlit yonder. The line behind him smokes and whizzes across the floor, then—
—yanks me across the floor and into the sky.
I flail wildly for a second before Bitefighter chucks a grapnel toward the BiteWing, his personal gyrocopter, and we sail off into the clear sunny blue.
Cue the Dark Knight theme music. The adventures of Kent and Bitefighter continue! Ha HA! 😀
Have you let it slip that you enjoy porn, and now your coworkers want to tear you limb from effing limb? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
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