What the booger discipline is going on, all my fellow peoples who’ve found yourselves in a fancy public setting whilst a giant flap of dried snot tickled and tortured the inside of your nose, forcing you to employ Zen master-level restraint to avoid jamming your picker finger in there and extracting this enemy to your sanity in full view of a bunch of stiff-backed caviar-eaters? This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo! (And to leave a positive review for it as well! 🙂 ) Just to allay your fears: Echo isn’t about the uniquely torturous feeling of holding back from a Good Pick; nah man—Echo’s all about cyborg super-soldiers, dark socioeconomic commentary, robo-beast monsters, and beautiful future wizards! Also, if you’ve read any of my books, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon. Amazon reviews only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means). To give you an idea of how lemon-scentedly amazing positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this: you’re at a neighborhood bbq, doing the whole let-me-bop-my-head-to-the-music-so-people-think-i’m-somewhat-engaged-and-leave-me-the-fuck-alone thing, chowing down on some nachos and queso dip. Suddenly, a warning lurch shoots through your guts. What the Eff? You’ve been minding your Ps and Qs with sleep and exercise, and you haven’t eaten anything spicy, so…
And then you see it: a bunch of goddamn ankle-biter kids stirring the queso with their microbe-coated hands. Every now and then, one of them plunges his lice-covered head into the bowl and blows a bunch of bubbles while the others laugh.
“Oh God…” you whisper.
Your party tray drops from your numbed fingers. Rank sweat springs out across your skin, sheening you in a thick coat of foul-smelling fear-slime. You charge toward the house but you stop short; the line for the bathroom is snaking into the driveway. People waiting for the toilet are curled into fetal positions, whispering their last rites or giving each other CPR and screaming, “LIVE, DAMMIT, LIVE!!!”
Every one of them has had the queso.
And then a floating porta-potty appears several dozen yards away. Its door swings wide. From within its confines, a magic wizard with a glowing pole-vault staff beckons urgently to you. Can you make it? Is it even—
Then your eyes steel over—there isn’t a choice.
You take off running, chopping the air with your determined hands. As you close the distance the wizard throws you the pole. You grab it out of the air, jam its end against the ground, and—
—bow up into the air, releasing the staff and yanking down your pants. Right as you slam butt-first into the floating porta-potty, gallons of Evil gush out from your backside. Huzzah! You’ve accomplished the most pleasurable feat in all of existence: making it to the bathroom JUST in time! YES! See, that insanely disproportionate rush of gratitude and joy you’d feel at not only fulfilling a wizard’s arcane challenge, but also restraining yourself from birthing unspeakable horrors onto someone’s front lawn is EXACTLY what we indie authors feel when we get a positive review on Amazon! So do your favorite indie author (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a saved-by-the-wizard-in-the-porta-potty favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons! Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!! 🙂 🙂 😀
Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜