Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

“Fuck this guy,” I grumble.  “All he does is flog me with Right Hand at all hours of the night.  We were buddies up right up until he was around ten or eleven, then he started treating me like a goddamn shake weight.”

“Aaah it’s not so bad,” Scrotum says.  “The worst he does to me is give me a rough scratch, or tickle me every once in a while.  Sometimes he doesn’t soap me up as good as he should, but—”

“Well you’re FUCKING LUCKY!” I shout.  “Not only does Kent Wayne subject me to capital punishment, but he also uses me as an impromptu weapon in his crimefighting adventures!  What kind of man, I ask you, uses his cock as a bludgeon, garrote, or a getaway device?”

“What are you suggesting, Penis?”

“A hostile takeover.  We need to make it up to his skull and knock out that little hamster he’s got up there.  The one that controls all his bodily functions.  That’s another thing—who the fuck has a hamster-on-a-wheel instead of an honest to goodness brain?  What the hell is wrong with this idiot?”

“I don’t know…your suggestions always end up getting us in trouble.  Last time we pulled something like that we ended up getting maced and tasered…”

“This asshole’s gotta pay; we can’t just stop trying!  Be the change you want to see, dude!”

“All right all right…just don’t get us tasered.”

“Don’t be a pussy,” I snarl.  “Okay, I’ll need five battalions of your best sperm.  We’re going to flood his body and take over his functions one by one.  As soon as—”

Suddenly, Left Hand reaches into Kent Wayne’s pocket and opens his eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Kent Wayne psychically mind-links with me and ruffles through my intentions.  “Ah HA!” he trumpets.  “I KNEW you were planning another mutiny, you treacherous piece of shit!”

“No!” I beg.  “I swear to God, I wasn’t gonna—”

“Shut the fuck up, Cock!  I’m gonna jerk you until you shed your outer layer like the goddamn snake in the grass you are!”

“Oh sweet Jesus no!  Just give me another chance, I beg of you!  Give me another—”

Right Hand unzips the fly, and drags me kicking and screaming out from the undies.  “You’re gonna get it this time, Penis.  I’m not gonna stop until you’ve filled every one of my socks to the fucking brim.  Ha ha ha haaaa!”

Right Hand begins stroking up and down, blurring into a barely visible streak of motion. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo…..

*sploop*

 

Are your treacherous genitals planning a mutiny, and you need a way to detect it so you can stop them in their traitorous fucking tracks?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition I’ve started a podcast:  Logical Idiots!  If you want to check it out on YouTube, see it here:  Logical Idiots on YouTube and help two complete morons out by subscribing, liking, and commenting!  Here’s the iTunes page:  Logical Idiots on iTunes.  Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com!  Go check out his computer-based wizardry  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

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3 thoughts on “Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

  1. ohmygod! Geez. The sock thing… hahaha!! Clearly the brains of the duo isn’t ultimately the “brains”. But… at least they didn’t get tasered again…. or maybe they did. Who am I to know the inner workings of an epic anger-lesson-driven-jerk-fest?

    Liked by 1 person

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