“Lemme outta here! LEMME OUT!”
I grab the bars of my cage and pump my arms, trying to loosen their steel-welded joints. It’s no use. The Soccer Moms’ prison has been fashioned with high-grade alloy; they refuse to budge so much as a single centimeter.
Being a he-slut fuck-doll is pretty awesome, and normally I don’t mind the fact that my sex-fueled captors have kept me in a cage, but lately, they haven’t been using me for their deviant needs. The decrease in promiscuity can be attributed to a single reason:
A fresh shipment of batteries has arrived at the compound, and the obsolescence of Kent Wayne has come nigh, for even my diamond-hard, upcurved peen can’t compete against the latest dildroid.
Fuck my life.
But all is not lost. Unbeknownst to my jailers, I’ve been constructing a gross-ass, semen-crusted version of myself by collecting the starched origami of every one of my jerk-tissues and forming them into a disgusting, sperm-comprised homunculus. Now, it’s time to bring it to life.
I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
“Mrrrrhhhh…” Crusty Tissue Kent arises from his hiding spot from beneath my bedroll. Gamete-infused kleenex crackles and pops as he sits up and looks around.
“Hey.” I snap my fingers and he turns and looks at me. “Hey! I need you to slide through the bars and pull the cell-release lever. Can you do that for me?”
“Ruhhh…” Crusty Tissue Kent slithers out of the cell—snappapoppop!—and disappears from view.
After a few seconds, my cell door clanks sideways, rasping across a set of gritted metal rails. Freedom!
I walk outside and see Crusty Tissue Kent staring blankly into space, twerking his butt because that’s his default mode. Jesus. What a moron.
“Hey. Now I need you to transform into a Kleenex velociraptor, and carry me outta here. Can you do that?”
Crusty Tissue Kent folds his arms together like Barbara Eden in “I Dream of Jeannie” and nods a single time, sharp and brisk. His body starts folding it on itself—CR’CRACKPOKKAPOP!—and in a matter of seconds, I’m staring at the grossest velociraptor in all of history.
I mount his back and we go charging through the halls. Before we flee the prison grounds we manage to locate the supply room and destroy all those space-age man-stealers (that’s my name for dildos) and their evil batteries. There’s no replacement for a true Man Whore, and these Soccer Moms would do well to remember it! Mwahahaha!
Man Whore perpetuum! 😀
Do you get nervous when you gaze upon the cybernetic craziness your flesh-n-blood junk must now contend with? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition I’ve started a podcast: Logical Idiots! If you want to check it out on YouTube, see it here: Logical Idiots on YouTube and help two complete morons out by subscribing, liking, and commenting! Here’s the iTunes page: Logical Idiots on iTunes. Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜