What the trash-splash is happening, all my fellow peeps who’ve inadvertently been hit by a dash of disgustingly aged tobbaco/oil/corn syrup/marinara sauce/egg yolk from a leaking garbage bag and subsequently dropped to your knees and screamed like Vader in the third shitty prequel? This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo and download the 2 Logical Idiots Podcast! (And to leave a positive review for them as well! 🙂 ) Don’t worry! Neither Echo nor my podcast are about those horrid drops of Gross I once saw flung into a dude’s mouth as he was singing loudly along to Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me” (true story; I couldn’t stop laughing for like fifteen minutes). No way Jose! Echo’s all about angry, sulky cyborg-soldiers, hairy-faced robo-beasts, and beautiful future wizards! Also, if you’ve read any of my books or heard my podcast, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon and iTunes. Amazon reviews only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means). To give you an idea of how lemon-scentedly amazing positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this: you’re drinking deeply of Life, standing atop a hill and firing an M60 from the hip as a harem of beautiful Elves take turns fellating or cunnilingizing you. (depends on what parts you’ve been equipped with). As legions of invading Insectoids scream and die, your mouth opens in sheer ecstasy as you rage away, cutting through their ranks with a withering storm of 7.62. Suddenly you see them all mass behind a hairy, fifty-foot beast wearing cool-guy shades. They’re rolling him forward, using his belly as a wheel as well as a barricade. He’s picking pizza out of his neck-beard and maowing down on it as he oozes ponderously toward you. Holy shit—it’s an apocalyptically giant version of Steven Seagal! You direct your fire at him, but his force field of Utter Crazy deflects your bullets. No matter how many drums you burn through, or how fast your harem sucks or licks, it ain’t stoppin’ Steven. You’re about to whisper your last prayer to Batman in Gotham, when someone taps you on the shoulder and hands you a talking grenade that looks exactly like the head of Neil Degrasse Tyson.
“Pull my pin and chuck me at that bastard. I’m packing enough logic and science to stop his ass cold.”
You do as you’re told, and send Neil’s head screaming toward Seagal. As it flies through the air, it starts babbling about string theory akindras, as well as the possible lapse of causality at the beginning of the Big Expansion. The grenade flies into Steven’s mouth and the effect is instantaneous; he explodes into a giant, human fireball. You and your harem go flying through the air, propelled by the powerful thermal updraft. As the Elves keep sucking and licking, you keep firing, screaming in utter joy as you climax into their mouths and kill another five hundred Insectoids. YES! See that joy you’d experience at juicing into an Elf’s shapely mouth while reigning hellfire and death upon an army of inhuman fucklings is EXACTLY what we indie authors/podcasters feel when we get a positive review on Amazon or iTunes! So do your favorite indie author/podcaster (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a full-auto favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons or the ’Tunes! Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!! 🙂 🙂 😀
Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition I’ve started a podcast: Logical Idiots! If you want to check it out on YouTube, see it here: Logical Idiots on YouTube and help two complete morons out by subscribing, liking, and commenting! Here’s the iTunes page: Logical Idiots on iTunes. Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜
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