I believe a question that hurts ego but maintains accountability might go something along the lines of: “Yeah, it’s cool that you were a [military/spiritual/artist/author/businessperson/quirky/quarterback/prom king or queen/etc.]…but what are you doing to improve yourself TODAY? And then tomorrow? And the day after that?”
That question keeps us from hiding behind labels, and forces us to hold ourselves accountable for the time we have left.
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
Is this a question we should be asking ourselves?
Sent from Mail for Windows 10
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It certainly helps keep me on track. 🙂
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And why are you pushing your kid to be what you used to be???? (pardon me while I fume quietly in the corner of my basement in AK.)
I did this for a time, what a horrible thing for a parent to do!
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??? Kid? I don’t have one, I was just speaking for myself. 🙂
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laughing. I see so many parentals doing exactly what you mused.
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Ah, gotcha! Yeah, it seems like most parents want little clones of themselves. It’s why I could never be a parent; I see it as a duty to prepare the kid to make themselves happy on their own…which means sometimes you can’t be their buddy.
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I’m pretty sure that I accomplished this with my daughter. She is off at college learning something that interests her. While I have sometimes questioned her choices, she is doing what makes her happy. That was definitely my goal.
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That’s awesome brother! That’s the way to go I think…from what I’ve heard about unhappy trust fund babies, it’s actually doing a disservice to children to take away all adversity from them.
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You have Bitefighter. :o)
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Alas, Bitefighter’s imaginary for now; the Ex took the dog he’s based on.
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NOT liking. I’ll cherish my stuffed Bitefighter even more now. (Not sure if I told you, I named a stuffed dog Bitefighter, it just seemed to fit!)
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It’s a great name, isn’t it?? When my former dog used to nip my ankles and jump back and stick his butt in the air, I’d exclaim “Ahhh! He fights with bites!” Hence the name Bitefighter, haha!
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clever. As usual.
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Haha! Thank You! 😀
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More like, “Why are you pushing your kid to be what you wanted to be but wasn’t good enough…?”
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BAD mom moves. I’m glad I grew out of that, but wish I had earlier in my son’s life! Thankfully, they both grew up ok.
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I don’t believe in labels, nor ownership. I do identify with my vocation but that’s my spiritual calling so I don’t know how to exist apart from it.
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I call those “clues given by the universe.” They’re how I navigate ambiguity.
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Well said!
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IMO… Sitting back and “riding” on labels and accomplishments from your past is a complete waste of time. While I can’t say that I’ve done anything great with my life, I can say that I’ve never stopped trying to figure out what’s next for me and heading in that direction. I’ve got good memories of being a good sound engineer for some interesting and regionally known bands and people. I’ve been a DM for some great gaming groups. I’m proud of those things, but I can’t ever remember a time to this day where I thought I could use those reputations for easy gain. It did lead to other gigs and game nights, in some cases, but I still had to prove myself capable each and every time. I have never been able to just coast. I would argue that my life has been better for it, too.
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